In this enlightening episode of “Spark & Ignite Your Marketing,” we have the pleasure of welcoming Stacey Kulongowski, an exemplary figure in the realms of executive coaching and leadership development. Stacey stands out as the founder and CEO of the Brand New Day Group, a beacon of transformative coaching that has significantly impacted the corporate world. With an illustrious background that includes over 25 years of experience in fostering high-performing leaders and teams, Stacey’s journey is nothing short of inspiring. Her credentials include ACC certification, a deep-seated knowledge acquired from the Hudson Institute of Coaching, and a solid educational foundation from Michigan State University.
Stacey’s Rich Professional Tapestry
Stacey carved a successful path in advertising, spanning 15 years across 12 cities, which afforded her a broad exposure to diverse teams, clients, and industries. A pivotal chapter in her career was her tenure at Google, where as a director, she spearheaded sales teams to remarkable achievements over 13 years. Her contributions to diversity initiatives and sales training are noteworthy. Moreover, Stacey’s entrepreneurial spirit shines through her co-founding roles at White Pine Leadership Collective and Flourish, platforms dedicated to women’s leadership and empowerment.
The Transformative Power of Executive Coaching
A core discussion of this episode revolves around the transformative potential of executive coaching, a domain where Stacey has left an indelible mark. Stacey shares her insights on empowering leaders to navigate career challenges and unlock new levels of success, illuminating her methodology that combines personal development with strategic coaching.
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Transcript:
Beverly:Â
Did you know that executives who receive coaching report a 56% increase in productivity? Today we’re thrilled to introduce you to an executive coaching and leadership development expert, Stacey Kulongowski founder and CEO of the b and d group, brand new day group. Stacey is not your average executive coach. She’s an A CC certified executive coach. A graduate of the Hudson Institute of Coaching and Michigan State University. With over 25 years of experience building, leading and coaching high performing leaders and teams, Stacey has honed her expertise in empowering leaders to navigate challenging career intersections and realized levels of success they never thought possible. As a former director at Google, Stacey built, trained, and led large high performing sales teams for 13 years. During this journey, she gained deep experience leading global women in diversity initiatives, deploying large scale sales, enablement development, training, and coaching across all levels. Wow, that’s a lot. Stacey. Yes. Before her tenure at Google, Stacey navigated an incredibly successful career in advertising, spanning 15 years, 12 cities, and a diversification of teams, clients, and industries. But Stacey’s impact doesn’t stop there. She’s also the co-founder of White Pine Leadership Collective and Flourish, transformational workshops for women, where she shares her expertise through group coaching sessions, leadership training and customized DIE, which is Diversity Inclusion Initiatives, leadership and coaching programs. Stacey is a keynote speaker, personal development fanatic, and the author of the upcoming book, Bring Your Big Energy, publication, is in fall of 2024. And I’m super excited to have you join us as we dive into Stacey’s remarkable journey and uncover the transformative power of executive coaching and leadership development. Stacey? Hi. I was doing the math and yeah, I’ve known you for 27 years.
Stacey:Â
Yes. Yeah, I think that sounds right.
Beverly:Â
Yes. I met you in 19 98, 26 years maybe. Okay. 1998 and my very first job outta college. You were my cubicle neighbor. That’s right. We both worked for Ross Roy communications for Chrysler in the catalog world. That’s fine. You worked on Plymouth. I worked on Dodge catalogs. Then our careers and lives and all that have diverged. But we have stayed in touch through the power of social media, but I haven’t chatted with you in a minute, so I’m super excited to learn where you are now, what’s happening, what’s new and your entrepreneurial journey. So talk to me, tell me how you went from advertising to owning your own business. It’s a lot that’s happened in between there.
Stacey:Â
Yeah, so back when we had the advertising gig, it’s been a minute as we said. I did that for a number of years. Then we moved all around and we finally moved back here in Michigan. And we had a child, I think we were in DC when we had her, but we moved here. And then I stayed home to have a couple of kids. Felt like a lot. I think it was two at the time. And yeah. And then I got the opportunity to go back to work at this little place called Google. I was referred, they asked for my transcripts from Michigan State. I was like, I think they’re in stone. Maybe chipped in stone somewhere.’cause I’d been working for so long. So yeah, I started in the Ann Arbor office I think two or three years after they had opened. And I built a huge career there and moved my way up to director. I ran a lot of sales team, did a lot of global, all the things you said, all that greatness. But I did go through a significant amount of burnout. I’m also a cancer survivor, so that was a thing that was happening in my past. I had some things that were happening running in the background while I was at Google. And I just decided to start into this coaching thing’cause it was bringing me such great energy. So I got my certification and I went to this four day transformational life forward workshop. And at that point I just realized this is what I wanted to do. I went on a leave for six months from Google. And during that time I did a lot of work on myself and reflecting and building. I came back and I was looking at other big Google jobs and I was like. I don’t think I wanna do this anymore. I just don’t think that this is the right fit for me. At the end of 2022, before all the crazy layoffs and everything happened there was a reorg, I had an opportunity and I ended up leaving and launching my own business and I have not looked back. There’s good, bad and ugly, which we’ll talk about. But yeah, I think a year now, a little over a year, I think I just got the anniversary that the 19th I think of January was my one year LLC anniversary, if you will.
Beverly:Â
Happy anniversary. That’s a big leap and a big milestone, congratulations on that. Thank you. What drives your passion in this space, leadership and development, obviously into your own business. What is the thing that makes that brings you the joy that, that is the fire that gets you excited?
Stacey:Â
Yeah, and I think you even called it a spark at one point and I was like, oh, I love that because I love your spark. And Ignite Spark is the transformational process that I’m using in my book actually, to bring people through like this life change. I think for me personally, it was as I started consuming personal development and it literally changed my life. I mentioned it was cancer survivor. I went through that circa 2016, 17, gave myself a minute to feel sad for myself. Then I got my big girl pants back on, and then I was reinventing my life and I was doing it through consuming personal development. And I was looking to all these resources for inspiration and so many of’em were, I. Coaches, right? Like Tony Robbins Rachel Hollis, and I had my own coach at Google and she just was such a force of inspiration. And I think through seeing that and then the work I was doing coaching at Google and seeing the transformation of myself, but other people and the impact of those people coming back, like literally 20 years later being like, you changed my life through coaching. And I’m like, I don’t even remember that conversation. And it’s such a rich opportunity to give people. And I think at that point, I just had the realization I moved from this like achievement purpose of up into the right, to I actually wanna be in a servitude kind of purpose and passion in my life. And so I think that’s what really led me to doing the coaching piece of it. I
Beverly:Â
think as we get older and wiser and we understand ourselves more, it becomes like almost this calling that you can’t shut up. Yes. It comes to you in all these different ways. It might be stress, it might be whatever, but it’s telling you like, this isn’t right. And you have to find that and you have to honor it. And yes, it’s nice that you’ve honored it in your career now. You have this extensive background in Google. Everybody think of Google and they get excited, like it’s this big company. Yeah. Obviously you were working there when it was really developing. Yeah. I believe you were in charge of Canada as you were I was working your career. Yep. So what are some of the key lessons that you’ve learned about business in life? Working for a company that’s really gosh. Like an ever-changing, it changed everything. Yes. What have you learned?
Stacey:Â
It’s so funny. I love that question because there’s so much work I do with my clients on change and transformation and I’ve read and studied so much on the topic. I don’t know if you’ve ever read Immunity to Change, but like we are wired to not like change. That’s a human nature, right? Like it’s a physiological, like a thing. It’s an actual thing. It’s science, right? The reality is like at Google, if you weren’t changing, you were not surviving, right? Those are the folks that were thriving. And so coming in there, being a subject matter expert for 15 years in the agency space, knowing my stuff, like I was having to reinvent myself and my team all the time at Google, and it was so uncomfortable in the first six months, I remember going to my boss and I was like, I don’t belong here. Like I can’t do this. It was really hard and I was gonna walk away from a really big opportunity, but it just was so uncomfortable. Fast forward 13 years. I am like the best person because of it. Constantly changing and innovating. You’re always problem solving. Like a year in, I’d say I grew to love it.’cause you were always solving a problem. You were always trying to figure out what your learner’s mindset is. Like, how is this for me? What else could be different? You’re looking at everything as an opportunity to try to fix and create a solution versus a set of things, which is I think what I had been taught to do my whole life. And so I think that was my biggest learning around the innovation change piece. I think the other people is like managing through that, leading through that. Is also incredibly challenging, right? So even though I got on board with change, a lot of people coming in they needed to work through that themselves too, right? So there was a lot of coaching around and then coaching me too, frankly, right? I don’t have all the answers, but coaching each other on those those pivot points and those opportunities to reinvent. I think the second piece that I learned from there, the leadership piece was really just around the people and the influence of leadership and all the good ideas coming together to solve the problems.
Beverly:Â
I love the idea of the learners mindset. Yes. Because one of our core values is being dynamic. That has to be part of what we do in marketing.’cause that marketing’s changing at every minute. Algorithms are changing, tools are being launched. It what we did 26 years ago doesn’t even exist anymore, honestly. Just in the industry itself it’s changed so much. But I want my team and even my clients to be open to change as well, because what was working yesterday may not work tomorrow based on the tools and the algorithms and all the things. So even coaching clients Yeah. To have the learner’s mindset is really interesting. I love that phrase. That’s great. Yes. So what is your favorite thing to do in or on your business and why?
Stacey:Â
I’m writing the book and I love writing. So that is, I love writing. Yes. It’s so fun. So I’m loving, absolutely loving. And again, I’m loving writing’cause I have an editor. I think that’s why I’m loving writing so much. 20 years I would’ve written a book had I known there was an editor at my disposal. So I think the writing piece, I honestly think the connection part though when I did come leave Google before I did take that big scary leap, I was like, looking around, I’m like, okay, I’m such a massive extrovert. That’ll run out way before the severance money or the whatever, like way before because I need people, right? And in looking at going out of Google, I was like, who can I partner with? So I had my awesome clients. I loved that I was, working behind the scenes not Google clients, but my co coaching clients. But I was like, who can I partner with? Who are the people that are. Coming from the same like-minded mindset as myself and looking to inspire and all that good stuff. I think the second thing is probably partnership. The people that I work with and the things that I can build. I have the two epic partners at White Pine Leadership that we’re building flourish together. I have Terry Ley, who’s my other partner, where we’ve done do a ton with like hospital systems and executive, MBA programs and things of that nature. So they’re very different worlds. So I like to think of it as like my portfolio business or my patchwork quilt as I like to say it. And I guess the third thing is honestly just doing different things all the time. I love changing the hat and doing a different thing. And my energy is so good that way. So if I do writing one day, I know the next day I need to be out networking or interviewing people for the book or having a coffee or getting on a podcast. I know that’s how my energy’s gonna go. And just really being mindful of that I think is really important too.
Beverly:Â
I love the idea of the patchwork portfolio. Because when you do write and you do the podcast. Yes. I write, I have the podcast. Yes. I have the clients. I have I’m constantly doing all the things and I love that too. Like the fact is they’re not doing the same thing all the time. Yeah. And even businesses are different that we work with. It could be a yarn store one day, but it could be a candle store the next day, or it could be a dog and cat health food store the next day. So I get to dig into these different obviously there’s some things that are the same no matter what business you’re in. That doesn’t change. You have to have accounting, you have to have operations, you have to have systems. All the things. But understanding who their target audience is and the reasons why they buy and what’s problems they solve. And that really gets me going too. I love that stuff, like digging in and learning and then helping them take that to the next level. Super exciting. That is probably my fuel. And last year when I did my reorg and figured it out, it was like what brings me joy? And that’s the part that brings me joy is really digging in and understanding people’s businesses. Yes. And helping them. Spark their unique opportunities in that. Yeah. And hopefully at the end of the day, you wanna ignite their business and get them to the next level. I love that idea of something different. And like you said, today’s a podcast with you. Yes. And tomorrow might be something else, which I love. Yeah. I like my little home office.
Stacey:Â
That’s why it’s so important to do the audit like you did of your business or we just had a offsite yesterday for White Pine Leadership Collective when we have a really, like a solid opportunity with a company and we just, were walking through and we’re like, I just, we don’t think this is the fit. And it could be a, financially a really good, but we’re like, we just don’t know if it’s a fit for us in terms of like our value structures and like what and so I think you really that’s my early advice as an entrepreneur. Like the first three months I wanted to throw up in my mouth a little bit. I’m like, what have I done? Like I made a bunch of money at Google, what have I done? And so it did take a, that three month period. But once you start to get into the abundance versus a scarcity mindset, then you really start to go look, you can’t just take the table scraps right away. You’ve gotta take what is gonna work well and be in congruency with yourself. Because if you don’t tho those clients are gonna look a lot like the other clients you get.’cause word of mouth is like the biggest thing for our business, and I’m sure it’s very impactful for yours as well. So you have to be choosy of who you partner with and who your clients are, because that’s going to, that’s the exponential type of clients that you’re gonna get or partners you’re gonna get and you wanna make sure it’s a good fit.
Beverly:Â
Yeah. And sometimes you have to fire clients, which can be really hard too, because they don’t fit your value structure or they’re not they’re not willing to do the changes that need to happen. They’re very comfortable in where they are. So having that learning mindset I think is super important for our clients anyway. And I’ve had to do that. And that’s really hard too, to fire a client because you just, it’s, you don’t wanna do that.’cause you’re right. Like that paycheck is super important when you’re an entrepreneur, but you’re, at the end of the day, it doesn’t bring you joy. And you’re right. Like that exponential factor is gonna be the wrong factor and it’s gonna cause you to waste energy and time in a place you don’t need to. Which is probably the most precious resource we have as entrepreneurs is time. Yes. So we wanna make sure we’re investing our time at with the most possible. Opportunity for success for both yourself and for your clients.
Stacey:Â
Absolutely. And that’s what I was gonna add for your clients too. Like I will say to coaching clients, like they’ll be like, what’s the package? What’s the, yes, I’ll follow up with that. But we gotta be leaned in. You gotta, to me like your therapist or your doctor not that I’m at the same regard, but if you’re gonna change your life, it’s gonna, by the way, take work. It’s right. Yeah. So forget everything else. So I actually will not take people’s money. I will not take a client that I do not feel like is dedicated or ready. So I always do an intro call and I will tell them in that call, and I’ve done it several times. I don’t think you’re ready or I don’t think I am gonna observe, I don’t think you have an openness to transform right now. Let’s get back together when we’re in that right space. Or you actually have the time and the energy to commit.’cause it’s just not fair to them either. If they’re not ready. No,
Beverly:Â
it’s not. And at the end of the day, they’re not gonna be as, as happy of a client, so that’s not gonna help you anyway. Because they’re not gonna have the transformation that you want. I actually joke, I’m a marketing shrink. I love it. Like I dig in and I find out what’s working, what’s not working, and create a plan for it to work. So let’s overcome some of those things. So I do joke that we’re like a brand shrink or a marketing shrink when we first meet with a client. Yes. So I love the idea of a therapist. Yeah. Sometimes you do, you need a, like a little bit of push. Yeah. And someone to question and kind of poke and prod where it might be uncomfortable to get you to the next level. And it’s somebody who’s not so personally attached to your business, right? So that you, they can have that kind of perspective that you might not have. I
Stacey:Â
also will refer out to a lot in coaching. Like I’ll refer out like if they wanna have a therapist too. I think a great client is one, has a therapist and a coach. In a lot of cases, not every case, but because you do the therapies, like the looking behind piece and digging and the coaching piece is okay, now, like we’re building on a foundation of let’s do the deep work. Let’s hold the space spacing. That’s the provocative questions. But I do think sometimes the two work in tandem, and I have a, I would say 80% of my clients probably have both, quite frankly.
Beverly:Â
Interesting. And also I think really healthy.
Stacey:Â
Yes.
Beverly:Â
Yes. If you wanna move forward, you need to get rid of the crap of you too. Whatever that looks like. The backpack that’s really heavy, that’s preventing you from moving forward. So real. Yes. So what made you wanna write a book? You’re one year in, and you said 20 years ago if you knew you had an editor. I’ve had this book, I’ve had a book and me for 20 years as well, and I’ve finally just said I’m doing it. What, why now? What is it about now that makes this opportunity so important for you?
Stacey:Â
It’s funny’cause I thought I was always one of those nerdy kids, like in summer camp, everyone else would be like at a fun camp and I’d be like at author’s attic at like the local college, like total nerd fest, right? But I loved it, right? And so I had so much that I wrote when I was younger and then I just you lose your creative and you’re like, I can’t make money at this. And then your life just happens. And you just follow the success path to the right, which has again been very kind and I’ve loved it. But the book piece, I just really feel I finally have a story to tell and I feel like when I was out there in this point of transition, I talked about taking that leave for Google for six months. I was in such a deep explorative period in my life in something exactly like what I’m writing didn’t exist. And I just felt I’m like, gosh, I wish there would be something out. There was like the, that included the raw and the true stories, but the actual workbook style, like tangible, get through the transformation also view of it. And I just couldn’t find that. I felt like there was a little bit of some of each of that, but not comprehensive, and so for me, when I started writing the book naively I thought it was myself and my story and then my coaching tools that I could help. But as I started interviewing people for the book, which is part of the process that I’m in. It just was life changing., I need to tell their stories. Like they, there’s so many beautiful, complicated, challenging rise above, fall back down, get back up stories that are out there. And I just feel honored that people are sharing those with me and I get to tell those too. So I think at the end of the day, the calling is really to help transform people’s lives and do it more of a scale than I’m able to do on my own. And of course I’ll have workshops and speaking and all that great stuff that comes along with it. But in terms of scale, this just felt like a right way to do it and get out there with it.
Beverly:Â
You talk about people overcoming challenges and even like getting up, getting back up this idea of resiliency. And I think entrepreneurs are exceptionally resilient people. Yeah. And when my husband and I got married, I don’t know. 12 years ago, we actually took a resilience course through the Army because army spouses need to be very resilient because the soldiers coming and going. There’s an element of danger. There’s a lot of things you have to understand and not catastrophize and things like that about the situation, which I thought was one of the most powerful courses I could have taken on this idea of resiliency. I think I was raised resilient, but this idea of being intentional in your resiliency was really powerful to me. I think every good story of anybody who is successful starts almost with the mistakes and the challenges. Yeah. So like Michael Jordan talks about the shots he didn’t make and why that fed his soul. So what’s the biggest mistake or challenge you think you’ve had to overcome, and how did you stay resilient during it?
Stacey:Â
Yeah, it’s interesting because the resilient, I think they’re two different things for me, right? I don’t know why, but the resilience team brings up like a lot of I think I’m so good at building things and reinventing myself because that’s what my parents did in blue collar America up north, right? If we literally, it was a Tuesday, we’d knock out a wall if we didn’t like the way the living room was, like, we would find a different way couldn’t afford the jeans. You would buy the jeans and sew the patch on. It was like a right thing. You just always find a way to make it happen. You didn’t sit around and cry about it. You just did it. Okay let’s do the next thing. Let, so taking that next best step and reinventing, I think really came from my childhood. I think challenges for my business is, it’s a hard one and I’ve had lots of them, but I’m like a baby business, right? So I’m a year in so I think I talked a little bit about the the first three months, which was really like, oh my God, what have I done? And I think the biggest challenge was like being in my own way. And I know that sounds really maybe trite or silly, but I was so in my own way, it was my business partner Terry, who was like, sta, we don’t chase, we attract. And I was like, what? Okay, I’m here for that kind of energy. And it was that shifting that mindset to be like, this is just like everything I’ve always done, right? Like I just told someone, I met someone, a woman event like two months ago and she’s you’re writing a book. I’m like, yeah, I’m scared. It’s hard. I don’t know what I’m doing. And she was like, oh, you’ve made all the hard steps though. I’m like, what do you mean? She’s you left corporate America. You built your business. She’s like looking back at the mountain of all the stuff you’ve done. She’s like writing a book is. It’s gonna be easy. So I think just that the mindset piece, once I shifted that, and the fear thing, like to your point, the fear, I just posted about this actually yesterday. The fear of failure. Gosh, if we just could get out of our own way and stop being so scared of everything, literally everything’s possible. Literally, right? And so that is the biggest piece mindset.
Beverly:Â
I think the other side of the fear of failure though, is the fear of success. Yes, there are people who don’t understand or embrace or accept this idea of success. They don’t feel worthy for some reason. And I coach a lot of my clients to raise prices. Because you’re worth it and you don’t need to live on a shoestring like your product. You have value, your service has value. And it’s, it is a mindset shift of you deserve this and it, you are worth it. And it is talking them through that process again, the marketing shrink side of it, that you are worth this. And I think I see a lot of clients who are also afraid or have a little bit of fear of what’s gonna happen if I change the pricing or if they’re just worried all the time. And it’s you might lose a couple people, but look how much more you’re gonna get in this at the end of the day. And having to kind of balance that and I’m a constant cheerleader. You got this, you can do this. You know that, that extra ear entrepreneurship is extremely lonely in many ways. Yes. And having that little extra push or an ear of somebody who can help you, push through. The self talk, whatever that looks like for yourself. The fear of failure, the fear of, maybe it’s even a combination of both, Stacey like it’s not just a singular thing is important, like whatever that looks like for yourself, whether it’s a coach or it’s a business partner or a, some people have spouses that can help you with that, or it may be a marketing person, whatever that looks like for you. I think having that ally is huge.
Stacey:Â
Yes. And it’s so interesting you’re making me reflect here because I think in the early days you’re fighting to survive, right? You’re just doing whatever you need to do to fight, to survive. As a leader, as an entrepreneur, whatever it is, then you get to this place where you’re like, to your point of worthy a success where you’re almost like, why should I want more? That’s selfish to want more. Like when I left Google, I think people were like. How selfish are you that you want more, you have an amazing job
Beverly:Â
that’s where you have to make sure you’re keeping your pricing in line with that. And depending on how busy they are. So if they’re booked all the time or something, then clearly you need to raise your prices. There’s opportunity there. Yes. So there are moments where a clear definition of this time become pretty visible to me. However, it is interesting to me how these very wonderful. Strong business people still need that extra push or need that person in their ear to say, you are worth it. So if you’re listening today, I am telling you, you are worth it and you deserve it, and it’s okay to be a little selfish and it’s okay. You’ve worked hard to get to that point. And so the next step, I think this idea of abundance, it’s so funny’cause the other, I think it was like a month ago or something you posted about abundance and I said, I call it the gain list. So there I read a book called The Gap and the Gain, and I focused on my gains, not my gaps. So I’m way closer today to my goals than I was yesterday because I did this, and this. So looking at my gains, what are my gains looking at it that way versus what do I need to do and where am I lacking? Certainly you need to look and have that awareness of where you need to keep pushing or whatever. This idea of abundance mindset that, we attract and we put it out there what we want and we attract. That is a really powerful strategy. I’m gonna say, as a marketer, you still need some marketing, but I think having this really open mindset to what you’re doing and believing in what you’re doing is extremely powerful. And it is a very different shift of a mindset to this hardworking, you work hard for what you make and what you do, but also this idea of there’s enough business for everybody. We just have to be open to that. And what does that look like, right?
Stacey:Â
Yes. And with the pricing mean total side note on that, I was just on this panel last week for ex Googlers and there was this whole thing around like pricing and value, right? If you are worth that money, then you should be questioning why the value’s not there for them, right? So if someone’s it’s too expensive. It’s not too expensive, that’s what I’m worth. What is the value that you’re not seeing? And let me help you to understand what the value is, right? So versus moving out the price, you’re making sure there’s an understanding on the concept of what the value being offered is.
Beverly:Â
The value is the value is important. You have to show the value. Yes. Okay. So we’ve gotten to know you a little bit better, Stacey. Yes. And we’ve talked about some really important topics. Gosh, we’ve do dove right into some of the nitty gritty of stuff. We got it. And I love that you are talking about overcoming and making mistakes and the resiliency factor. And I love that you even put a little spin on that. But can you highlight a moment? Or a single spark that created a unique opportunity in this journey that was really super powerful for you?
Stacey:Â
It is interesting because even in my book, I call’em intensity points, right? And I went into this book thinking like you have an intensity point that changes your perspective and your life changes. In a lot of cases that’s true. Top of the mountain trauma, whatever the thing is. But as I continue to evolve in my research and thinking about my own life, it’s really a series of intensity points. Or a series of sparks. And so I don’t think it happened all at once for me. I think the big catalyst was, I had this huge meeting and I was trying so hard to get the answers right, and I was killing myself working all the hours trying to mo motivate my team, trying to hold it together, and we just couldn’t hit the numbers. We were sales team that couldn’t hit the numbers following a pandemic. Canada did not bounce back when the US did. And it was just hard and it was painful and I had nothing left to give. I was, not taking care of myself at all.’cause I was pouring everything into this business, in this team. And I was really defensive of my team’cause I loved my team and then I knew that they were like working their butts off to get it done. And I just got off that call and I just felt like it was my friend. And I call it like an underwear and school moment. It was so embarrassing. It was so awful. It was the worst piece of failure I’ve ever had in my career. And I was 48 years old now. I encourage my kids to fail fast so they don’t get that far.’cause I’ve never failed that big and I don’t even know if it was a failure looking back. But I did. I turned off my computer and I cried under my desk and I said to my business partner, I said, I think I gotta take a minute off. And she’s I think you need a lot of minutes off. And it was that point of just sheer burnout of being like, I. I can’t get the answer right and I can’t figure this out. That really just led me to that was like such a deep, dark challenge that I’m like, I have to do something different. And even when I talked to my husband about leaving Google, our health insurance are all the beautiful things. Four KI mean, it’s a thing. He was like, I’m on board. And I was like, what? He’s no, I’m completely on board. He’s this is not serving you anymore and as a result it’s not serving our family. So I think that was like just an amazing hard and amazing. Challenge and opportunity and a huge learning for me that you almost have to be completely broken down sometimes, but you can build back up. I just realized for the first time in my life I’m like, this is not it anymore. Like it. And it was just such a clear moment and I didn’t know what came next at all.
Beverly:Â
I have spent some time crying as well in my business. You’re a baby business. I’m not sure. I’m not sure have you’ve had any of those moments, but I have spent some time crying in my business where either an employee, I can’t serve them well, a client, I can’t serve them well, something’s happening where I remember in Covid, like I remember Covid the first, I don’t know, two weeks of Covid, which was extremely emotional all the way around. I ended up leaving work, like I left my desk and I drove to the church parking lot. You couldn’t even go in the church because of Covid. I went to the church parking lot and I just sat there and cried and I prayed and I said, God, I wanna help my clients so badly. I wanna guide them and lead them and help them stay alive.’cause these are all people’s dreams. These are all their dreams. Yeah. That and this is supporting their families. This is supporting, how do I do this During this crisis where a lot of my business were even close’cause they weren’t considered essential. Yeah, essential. So I’m like, how do I help them? And I was like, at this point this point of what do I do? Was a very come to Jesus moment for literally. And I was in tears.’cause I just wanted to, I want, I was so invested in their businesses and helping them and trying to find a way to bring in revenue during this time that was so challenging and to help keep them top of mind. So as soon as things opened up, they were the person or the place they wanted to go to. I think we care if you do and what you love to do. You care immensely and deeply. Oh yes, absolutely. So those moments are important to have because it does stop. What you’re doing and refocus on what’s important and why you’re doing what you’re doing. So for you it was maybe this isn’t what I’m supposed to be doing. Yes. Let’s go to, leadership and coaching I feel like is a relatively new field. What do you see as the trends and like where are things going with coaching?
Stacey:Â
Yes. In terms of marketing it
Beverly:Â
not even marketing, but just in terms of. Where what, how, what is the industry like, how are things changing? What do you see as the future of coaching? Where do you see things going?
Stacey:Â
Yeah, I think I see more and more people that are knowing that coaching is something that they need and leaning into it than ever before. So I think the older trend used to be like, your company got you coaching because either they felt like you needed these certain tools to rise to the next level. Whatever the challenge or opportunity was the company was seeking out coaching companies. Where I see a lot of my clients coming more. One-on-one. So again, I work with all these places that I mentioned before, but I see more and more clients coming to me that are seeking out coaching for theirselves because they know that they need it. I see a lot of, life coaches, which is not at all the camp I’m in. I’m more of a, I am a leadership coach and so for leadership coaching, we, the trend there is, yes, we focus on leadership, but we are also looking at you as a well-rounded. Individual. So to your point, as a woman there’s different things that women are also looking to improve upon in addition to their leadership. So when we’re talking about transforming their lives, we’re also talking about what that looks like holistically, right? So there’s the upsurge of, I would say, these life coaches where they’re really just focused, on that piece of it. And then there’s the leadership. So I’m seeing more of these like break off points. On the leadership side, we’re more doing workshops or like weekend team building retreats for companies and things of that nature. So those are the big divides that I’m seeing and and we’ll see what continues to come with like the virtual piece. I think I have one client of my hundreds of clients that I’ve worked with at the last two years that is local. Everyone is virtual, right? And so that’s, I think, another trend too, where I would’ve never thought back in the day someone would have a therapist that was virtual. That would be so weird, right? But you can, as long as there’s a video, you can see body language, you can still, be able to say, let Beverly, let me observe that you really lit up in that moment that really feels like something you could be passionate about. Do you mind if we go there for a minute? Like you can have those really rich conversations and you don’t have to be at your local coffee shop. You can be the privacy of your own homes. And it cuts out the logistical piece too, which is pretty nice. So those are the few of the things that I’m seeing.
Beverly:Â
Do you think that there’s a direct correlation between mental health awareness and that burgeoning acceptance that’s happening as a society and this coaching end of things? People being more open to being coachable?
Stacey:Â
I think this vulnerability piece is huge. And I do, and Brene Brown, God love her. Oh, I love her. Like the mother of owning it. Life changing, it is so funny’cause I mostly work with women. But I do have a couple men cli men that are clients and they’re amazing. And this one’s like a C level, very important and amazing gentleman, but a little bit more like direct. And I’ll lean in and I’ll be like, I’m gonna lovingly say to you, can we take this little vulnerable? And it really has. He says, it’s been life changing. He’s you’re literally. Changing my life. He’s as a man, like it’s not celebrated that I can be vulnerable. And it’s not. And it’s sad, but that’s true. I don’t know if it’s a mental health as much as it’s the vulnerability thread. And I think people are so hungry, especially after Covid, to just be authentically themselves. I think people are getting tired of trying to be something that they’re not. And maybe I’m too close, this topic because I’m writing a book that has so much of this in there. But if you’re not living a life that is in congruency with your values and your passion, then what are you even doing? But we’ve all been there. Then what opposite of that is what? Leaning into being vulnerable and real and doing the work to really be like, I don’t have the answer, but let me explore some opportunities. Maybe a path could be different that could be right for me.
Beverly:Â
I think the power of authenticity. Is very real from a marketing perspective. Yes. Last year merriam Webster declared authenticity. The word of the year and everything we’re doing as a company with our clients is all about how can you be more authentic and more vulnerable about your journey to this and why your why. It all lends into that. It’s all on the same path. It’s just in a different maybe space and awareness, but we’re saying the same thing to our clients. That seems contrived. I don’t think it’s gonna work. Yep. How can we be more authentic in this? I know that this was really hard for you, how do we share that in a way that’s positive and impactful and you feel comfortable with?’cause that’s also something that you have to be comfortable with. When you share that, because the journey to a business is not, it’s not straight and it’s not easy and it’s not, there’s a lot of this that happens and you have to figure out, this doesn’t feel comfortable. This feels more comfortable. This is what I want. And I think a lot of that is vulnerable. Making mistakes is a very vulnerable space to be in. And the question of what are your biggest challenges and how do you overcome them is probably the hardest question I ask any of my guests. Yes. And I think people are really careful about how they answer that. Because while it’s still celebrated now, I don’t think it’s completely where it needs to be yet. So that’s why that gentleman is not. Provided the space in other places to be able to be that and to become in touch with that side of himself. Yes. But I think it’s getting better. Yeah
Stacey:Â
and I think you really quickly on that, I think you nailed the nail on the head or whatever hit the nail on the head when you said the why. That’s the biggest thing. Like we all need to be back in the day when we were kids and we were like, what about this and what about this? We were a kid in the candy store. That’s the life I’m like currently living in, which is completely epic. But it’s because I’m allowing myself to think about the why. And so I invite your businesses too. Like again, I’m a vision board workshop junkie. I lead tons of vision board events. I love, love, love this piece of it. But I invite those companies to play in the why because if not, if everyone at that company doesn’t know the why. Nobody is marching to the same drummer. And that is the power of influence. And that is the power of being authentic, is knowing why you even stand for it. And even just putting that up like on my vision board right there. And that is my why. And if I’m taking on work that doesn’t match up to that, then I’m not living an authentic life. Or if I am doing something that is not congruent with them, that’s not really me. I’m still evolving. I still catch myself too. I’m like, I wore a big pink flashy outfit the other day and I was like, this is the after Google Stacey. It’s I could have wore that there, but I didn’t allow myself. But my authentic me is big energy and I’m bringing her. And I think that for years, I wasn’t doing that, anyway, the why. I love the why you get me so excited on the why. So
Beverly:Â
the why is also important in the sense of the why can change and be fully organic. Yes, absolutely. And you have to let it evolve. It’s not something that needs to stay stagnant. The why can evolve and change and grow and it is alive. Yes. And if you don’t think of it as this, like I put it there, I slap it on the wall and I’m done with it because it can fully be, you know what, that is not exactly what I want. And I can switch it out how I want to. Even our core values, I have tweaked them a little bit to be more resonant to myself. So you it’s a constant kind of process. And as you evolve those whys and the reasons and who you are, I think I become more solid in who I am. I become more almost, I don’t wanna say difficult, but no. That doesn’t resonate with me. So I’m sorry that’s not gonna work. Like I’m much easier to put up a boundary than I would before of what I feel. Works for me and what doesn’t. And I think as you become more seasoned as a business owner as well, it becomes more aware of, you become more aware of what works and what doesn’t work too. You’re gonna make mistakes like that’s gonna happen. And I love this idea of fail and fail fast. We teach Zeke the same thing. Zeke, you’re, I don’t care if you make mistakes. What I care about is if you are, you have good sportsmanship. And if you’re kind, and if you are, those are the things that matter. And practicing’s gonna help you get better and dedication and desire. The most important thing is how you carry yourself and what you believe in. That’s the thing that matters to me. I gave an example, I don’t know if I’ve talked about it on the podcast before. I think I might have, and I, if I have, I will, fast forward this part. However I heard one time from a film person, a person who’s in the film industry, talk about mistakes being miss takes and how in the film industry you have a director and you have a script, and you have, there’s choreography of where you’re supposed to be and there’s lighting and there’s costumes and there’s makeup, and they make you look your best. They make all the things right. And then you go in and you read your lines, you know your lines, you read your lines, and you make a mistake and you’d have a mistake. And it’s take one, take two, take three. And they could have 30 takes of a scene, right? In life and in business, there’s no script, there’s no director, there’s no choreographer, there’s no makeup artist, there’s no whatever. If you honestly feel like you’re gonna never make a mistake without any of that, and people who have. The script and all the things like it, I think it’s really unrealistic to think that. So yes, I have given myself far more grace Yes. Since I, I heard that many years ago about mistakes. I love that. We’ve talked a lot, Stacey, and I love your energy. I love the conversation, I love the topic. But I’m also in marketing. Yes. So let’s talk a little bit about marketing. Yes. We started in marketing together. Advertising together. So for you, marketing tactics, I know a lot of it’s referral, word of mouth. Yep. What do you find to be a really great form of marketing that helps for you and your business?
Stacey:Â
Yes. So yeah. So word of mouth and referrals is huge, right? I think there’s different groups that I’m a part of and I’ve tried good ones. I’ve tried chamber commerce, that didn’t work out as well with me. But I love this group locally called the Kindling Project, not an ad, but if you’re not a member you should because they’re Epic. So I’ve tried, I think different groups and I know that sounds silly, but like getting out there, networking, that piece of it is key. Honestly because I’m writing the book, and this is pieces of it right now, is there’s a lot of one-on-one research. So I know that doesn’t scale for, a large business, but maybe a small local business. I will say 10 times outta 10 times when I’m doing one-on-one outreach to someone asking them for something, they are accepting it and they are here for it, right? And so I think that there’s a little bit where we’ve lost touch getting so big and so massive. There is a little bit more of this like community in this like smaller, I do think, the social media thing is key. I do think there’s tools like AI tools and like Canva and things like that, which I absolutely lean into as well. Again, using the social media or like paid ads and things like that definitely are gonna help boost your longer term and wider engagement. But those are sort of the things that I’ve found to work so far.
Beverly:Â
Do you think that storytelling is powerful for you? I would think that case studies and actual stories of leaders who have transformed during the process and what that looks like for them would be super powerful. Do you use storytelling?
Stacey:Â
Yes, I do. It shows up like speaking. It looks like workshops, I get a lot of work business from workshops and partnerships, podcast, things like that. I think the other thing too is my partners and I, we’ve been starting to do these complimentary community events, right? And that right there is marketing. It’s super fun. You get to network, you get to meet people, a lot of times business comes out of that. And you’re giving goodwill for the community because even when we were sitting down writing our goals, I was like, what do we want to get out of this event and what do they wanna get out of this event? And having that matching together I think is key. But yeah, the storytelling piece is really a huge piece of it. And I think, honestly, when I do my introductory calls with coaching. I don’t sit there and go, this is what coaching is like. I’m gonna coach you up in that first session so you know what you’re gonna receive. Because that’s marketing to me too. I think I’m not as conscious as of all the time, but when you say it, it absolutely, you’re absolutely right. The storytelling piece of it is key. And people are buying you as a brand, small business coach, entrepreneur, they’re buying the brand of you. And just like being a good human and sharing and doing good things too. I mean that goes a long way.
Beverly:Â
Has there been one like marketing campaign or one thing that has been really fruitful for you?
Stacey:Â
Honestly, I just did a big thing on LinkedIn for my book announcement, which I know you saw. And so I did a huge push on that and I’m just learning a lot. So that’s not my favorite thing to do. My business partner Sarah, is epic at it. And so she was giving me some of the this is what works, doesn’t work. But I think engaging my community and getting some kind of I call’em my energy hype squad. Getting some of those folks engaged early. I was hoping to get like 10,000 people seeing what I had to announce, and I was upwards of like 22,000 people seeing what I had to announce. So I think that was a good example of LinkedIn, not paid, but just leveraging my community. That was probably my most successful kind of campaign so far. In terms of marketing outreach I’ve done I really have not done like this is. This is crazy to say. I haven’t done like a hard launch yet of my business. I just haven’t because there’s been so many beautiful partnerships already in conversations that once I left Google working with my different partners of just reaching out with contacts that we have in our community. Again, not even my Google community right. That I could outreach and there’s been so much like work to come from that. So likely I need to be more intentional how I continue to do that as well. But that’s where I’ve been so far. This guy this Eric gentleman who runs our, the program that I’m in for the book, my book writing school, I call it, my kids Always Laugh, my book writing school. He’s no one’s gonna say no to you if they love you as a person. And again, I’m not selling anyone on anything yet, right? I’m just talking to people about being a part of my journey. And guess what? People wanna be a part of your journey. Maybe that’s the nugget for small businesses and entrepreneurs on here is don’t always be selling something to anyone too. Like you need to be out there doing the goodwill, having the conversations, bringing people along. If you’re an not entrepreneur, you built a business, like that’s epic. Maybe people wanna understand how that happened. Take him on the journey with you. And I think that has been something that I’m really surprised’cause it wasn’t comfortable to sell myself in the beginning, but every single person that I’ve connected with. And it’s hundreds at this point. One-on-one connections has been like, yes, I want to be a part of your journey. I wanna learn about the book. I love the topic. I’m interested in this, that, and the other. And I love you. And it’s just it’s been one of the coolest things. So I think just putting yourself out there and getting outta your own way, the worst they can say is no. And they’re probably not going to.
Beverly:Â
People wanna support each other. That’s just, I think, human nature. Yeah. But you have to also make the ask and put yourself out there. Yes.
Stacey:Â
For that. And you need to listen and have a good value exchange is the thing I would add. I think so many people are not good listeners and and actually I lead classes on effective listening and powerful questions.’cause 98% of the learning we’ve taught, been taught is like how to put ourselves out there. We’re not taught to be good listeners. And so I, if anyone’s ever had a conversation where you’re networking and the person is talking at you the entire time and they’re not listening there, there’s not a two-way connection there, right? And so I think there’s this like value exchange that needs to happen. Like, how are we gonna partner with each other? How can I help you? How can you help me? But that really starts with like listening. And then the other thing I’ll add too, whether you’re an extrovert or introvert. I’m not a huge small talker’cause life is so short. So I’m like, get in it sis. I’m like, we’re gonna go deep and we’re gonna go fast and here I am, love me, hate me, whatever. And I think people like value that, right? Because a lot of people, maybe that’s hard to do or they don’t think to do. And I, again, I have not always been that way, but I think going in a little bit deeper and listening and understanding and having that value exchange and building those like true relationships, is the most powerful networking ver versus anything. And everybody
Beverly:Â
has a story. Yes. It just, yes. How do you get to that? Yes. This is great. And I think we could talk for a lot longer. Yes. Yes. But we have to do the lightning round, which is it’s speedy. Okay. We’ll get ready on anything too much. Okay. Okay. What’s your favorite way to connect and network?
Stacey:Â
I, can I only answer one thing? I guess I will say like at a more casual low pressure, like 50 person coffee chat inspirational speaker type event.
Beverly:Â
What is your favorite business or marketing book?
Stacey:Â
Anything John Maxwell has ever written. Literally 60 books. I not an ad read them all. Love him.
Beverly:Â
What is your favorite podcast?
Stacey:Â
I love Rachel Holli. She’s epic, but right now the Kimley Project, again, I’m giving them so much love. They’re my local peeps here. And it’s all about igniting women’s fires and I love it.
Beverly:Â
What is your favorite business tool or app?
Stacey:Â
Otter AI right now because it does the transcription thing, I’m interviewing hundreds of people for this book, and I am a bad note taker and so it lets me be present with the person but then also feel like confident that I have all the notes I need to be able to give their story the power it deserves.
Beverly:Â
What is your favorite marketing tactic?
Stacey:Â
I’m gonna go with the one-on-one. I know it doesn’t scale, but again, I went, I grew up in Google where we scaled everything. I think the one-on-one, the human piece of it is my favorite.
Beverly:Â
What is your favorite way to reduce stress during the workday?
Stacey:Â
Workout. Yep. I’m back at it no matter what it is. Hot yoga, spin class. I’m new at Spin and I’m, I love it. So yeah, any type of workout, I do it in the morning. It creates my energy for the day, so I are, I’m just on a better field as the day goes.
Beverly:Â
What is your favorite source of inspiration?
Stacey:Â
Connecting with people around me that are inspiring or have done weird things or tough things, or to your point, everyone’s got a story. I love people’s stories. And that inspires me.
Beverly:Â
Who’s your favorite entrepreneur to follow?
Stacey:Â
My new one right now is Jess Tro. I don’t know if you know her. She did this whole headbands for hope, like for cancer, kids like headbands. But the thing she does now is her whole goal is getting women on stages’cause there’s enough, not enough women on stages. So she’s giving us the tools to do that through like workshops and things. And if you’re part of her community, she gives you opportunities hence abundance to be able to apply for places to speak and get on stages. I just love this like trifold of the nonprofit. She has her own business, obviously speaking, writing, she’s a author and all that good stuff and lifting others. I think it’s just a really beautiful combination for entrepreneur.
Beverly:Â
Awesome. You survived the lightning round.
Stacey:Â
Woo. Okay, good.
Beverly:Â
My next segment is the Blaze Forward segment, but I actually have a question about going backwards first.
Stacey:Â
Okay, perfect.
Beverly:Â
If you could go back and talk to young Stacey, maybe the Stacey at 22 when I met you, who’s just starting out in the business world. Yes. What advice would you give her based on what you know now?
Stacey:Â
Stop trying to be so freaking perfect. Stop trying to be the straight A. Stop trying to have all the right answers. Stop trying to change your story of origin. Stop trying to prove yourself, so just stop trying to be so perfect.
Beverly:Â
I feel like that’s so many of us, right? That’s so many of us. How much energy have we wasted? Ugh. Yeah. Literally my body would just went, right?’cause of that it’s just the burden of that is so huge. Okay. So that’s going backwards now based on that, okay. What is something that you would tell a small business entrepreneur or somebody maybe who’s just starting out, that they can do today to help spark their unique opportunity and ignite their marketing success?
Stacey:Â
Okay, so some of it I might have said, can I give three things? Sure. Okay. So I would say, I think I already said this ish. Somewhere along the way, I would say get out of your own way. Because everything is figureoutable. You can figure out a way to do it. You have all of the resources, you just haven’t used them yet. You can find all of the answers anywhere. You can pull in the connections, whatever. So get out of your own way because you can figure it out. We talked about failure, but my thing is safe to fail experiments consistently trying and experimenting with different things. We do this a ton in white Pine leadership collective. We’ll try a half day event. We’ll try a small event. We’ll try. We’re just trying to see what fits and what six and not all of it does, right? So I think the second thing is experiment with everything. And then I think the last thing is it’s not you’ve gotta build the habit and prioritize your business, right? And so life happens. And as an entrepreneur, I don’t file, I don’t follow my time anymore. I follow my energy, right? But if I follow my energy and don’t create any space for my business, there’s no pipeline ever gonna happen, it’s like about building these habits that work for you and then prioritizing your business. So just think of it like, again, sales scale. Think of it as always a pipeline that’s building and making sure that you’re creating those sustainable, persistent ways to continue the momentum. And so it’s a one day at a time, message. Because sometimes the big why can feel so overwhelming that I’ve found to work really well. For me, it’s here’s my habit, here’s my priority. How am I moving forward today?
Beverly:Â
So the visual I see when you say that is you need to have a destination. Yes. But maybe you only need to see what your, where your car lights can, are shining for today. Yes. To get you closer to that space.
Stacey:Â
I love that. I love that. Exactly. In my book, I talk about like the flashlight, like on your path. That’s your energy beast. Yes. So it’s actually very, I.
Beverly:Â
Perfect. Okay. So this is great. Stacey, and where can our listeners learn more about your business? Any upcoming events that you’re, workshops, things that you have offering and your
Stacey:Â
book launch? Yes. I’m on all the socials, right? I think on Instagram I’m at Brand New Day with Stacey K, which is where the b and d group originated years and years ago. I have a website I built all myself, which I’m super proud of. It’s not perfect, but here we are it’s the b bnd group.com. And then also on LinkedIn and Facebook is Stacey Kulongowski so you can follow me, any of those places.
Beverly:Â
I appreciate your time and your energy today. That’s a wrap for today’s episode with Stacey Kulongowski, the powerhouse behind the B and d group. Remember whether aiming to ignite your leadership skills or supercharge your team’s performance, the key is to bring your big energy and embrace the journey. Thank you for tuning in, and until next time, keep sparking and igniting your path to success.
Stacey:Â
Thank you.
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